


Ocean, On Our Ceiling

by nutteu



Series: Commissions [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Non-Graphic Violence, Tavern Maid!Hana, commission, knight!Iwaizumi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29076759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nutteu/pseuds/nutteu
Summary: Akeno Hana woke up in a small hut on the far edge of the forest. There was a castle on the hills; at night, the whale swum above the highest tower and sung a melody that made her heart ache. The forest was empty; the ocean on the sky was serene and blue. She was all alone in this strange world. Then, she dreamt. [Hajime/OC; Medieval AU]
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Commissions [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051181
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Ocean, On Our Ceiling

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is nutteu. This one took so long because I kept getting interrupted with exams, sighs. But thank you to rizumary, who let me play around with her original prompt for this commission! It's really fun to write certain things, especially the empty world visuals.
> 
> [rizumary's tumblr](https://rizumary.tumblr.com/); [Akeno Hana](https://rizumary.tumblr.com/post/631232985033752576/here-she-is-the-mysterious-girl-in-my-every)
> 
> She made a poster for this fic too! Check out the pretty art that made me literally cry hshshsjwjww I LOVE U MBA HANA

* * *

Her name was Akeno Hana. That much, she could remember. She didn’t remember where the birds had gone off to, didn’t remember since when the sky had been replaced by the glimmer of the ocean. The water was clear above her head, like a summer sky. She wondered if someday she would see the vortex deep inside the sea, like somewhere beyond the night sky.

She was almost twenty four. That, she remembered also. She didn’t really like the taste of alcohol, but she liked cakes and newly baked breads. She liked sweet things, and she collected pretty stones. They held no importance to her, but she did it anyway. She felt like it was something important for her to do. As to why, she… couldn’t remember why.

She woke up inside a cozy, warm hut just on the edge of the forest. The dimly lit ceiling was the first thing she saw as soon as she opened her eyes, the wooden floor creaked when she stepped on it. Her steps were slow and wobbly, but soon enough, she found out that it was morning outside; that the forest was humming with something she couldn’t recognize, but it was empty save for the breeze that rustled the trees.

As she stumbled outside with legs that felt like those of newborn fawn, she looked up and forgot everything that had ever existed inside her small universe. The ocean on the sky was vast and full of life. The corals, the fishes, jellyfishes swimming about like fairies. And then, right above the looming castle on the hills, a blue whale swum gracefully. It occasionally jumped out, and splashes of water would come down before being pulled back down to the ocean sky. She couldn’t remember when had the sky turned to the seas; she couldn’t remember whether it was supposed to be there or not.

But it was there. As sure as the fact that her name was Akeno Hana, that she was almost twenty-four, that she liked cakes and collecting pretty stones without knowing why.

As sure as the fact that she was alone in this world.

* * *

She couldn’t remember what happened _before_. Whether there was supposed to be someone here other than her, but she felt like there was supposed to be others. She just didn’t remember where, and who, and _when_. For some reason, she didn’t feel as worried as she expected. Was she the sort of person who worried excessively before, she wondered?

She remembered all the simple things about herself, but for the love of God, she couldn’t remember anything beyond that. What sort of person was Akeno Hana once you dove into the depth of her ocean?

But whether this was the way the world was supposed to work, or she just simply forgot the order of the old worlds, she was here now. She woke up here, so this must have been the place where she was supposed to be. The castle up upon the hill might have something to help her remember, but day and night since she woke up, there hadn’t been any sound coming from there other than the splash of the whale, and the melodious song that it sung each night on the top of the highest tower. She would sit outside with her lantern, and listened to it until she felt the warm embrace of sleepiness.

Ever since she woke up, she had been accepting all the things that happened around her with such ease that she didn’t know were wise or not. Was she the type to be this easygoing, or was she a fussy person back then? But… when, and _where_ , was back then? Every time she tried to remember, the forest rumbled and the sound of the birds that had been long gone returned. It was scary, and the caws and shrills of the birds was haunting without their physical appearance in sight. So Hana tried her best to let things be, to just _be_.

Every morning, she woke up and went to the forest to search for ingredients to cook. She had a pantry full of aged meat and eggs, and sometimes she cooked with those. Not too much, though, she knew she had to ration it wisely. There were no animals in sight, and she wasn’t exactly the best hunter out there. She couldn’t do it; she was too soft to properly end a life.

_Just like that night_.

She stopped as she picked up the mushrooms. What… night? When? What happened on that night?

“Huh,” she said out loud in the empty forest. It was the first time such unbidden thought appeared in her head. Usually, the only thing there was a thick mist that prevented her from remembering things too clearly. “What is it, I wonder?”

She knew that her question would be left unanswered, but she talked to herself still. She felt like she’d forget how to talk, too, if she didn’t. There were a lot of things she didn’t remember, and she was afraid that she could forget a lot more. This world—she didn’t know whether her world was supposed to be like that, but she didn’t know anything else aside from the empty forest and its haunting birds, the ocean sky, and song of the whale. Her world was void of presence, and yet the sky was brimming of it. It was a balance that made something in Hana restless.

“I’m home,” she said to the empty hut, and opened the window on the kitchen. There was no one to greet her when she went home, but just like the pretty stones, she felt like it was something important.

She wondered how it’d feel like to have someone say, “Welcome home,” and felt an ache so acute inside her heart that she keeled over from the pain of it. The forest rumbled, and the birds started screaming deep in the rustle of the trees—unseen, untouched. Just like her memories.

That morning, she lay on the kitchen floor, and cried, and cried, and cried. She didn’t know why it hurt her so, why it shattered her heart to pieces. But on that morning, the forest rumbled, the birds screamed, and the whale let out a song full of tragedy and longing.

* * *

Hana didn’t know how long since she woke up, but she had gotten used to the way of life in this world. Every day she would scavenge the forest, cooked and clean the hut, drink her tea as she watched acres of green field and the white castle on the hill and the ocean above her head. It was enough, until it wasn’t. The tea and coffee stock was thinning, she realized that she had no butter when she remembered she could make cake, she had no milk, her sugar was almost gone, and so was the meat and eggs. But there was no market in sight where she could stock up, and she doubted there was anyone other than her in this world.

But she might find something in the castle.

This time, when she took her coat and a basket full of goods to trade, the forest didn’t rumble and the birds were silent.

The castle was huge and pristine. The trek from her small hut to the castle looked so far, but it didn’t feel that long and she didn’t even sweat. But then again, she never really sweated these days, didn’t she? She frowned at the thought, and quickly shook her head, her long hair swaying left and right. She had put it up on a ponytail today. It was a special day; it was the first time she ever went to the castle, and she was excited that she might find something, or better yet _someone_ , here.

And yet, when she arrived at the gate and found that it was opened without any guard in sight, her excitement started to waver. As she walked deeper into the castle, Hana felt the bitter tang of disappointment so thick and cloying on her tongue. The castle was empty, and she was still alone.

She had journeyed here, however. At least if no one was in sight, she could find some _thing_. She walked around the pristine castle, past the small houses and taverns, the town hall with its beautiful fountain the statue of a whale in the middle. She looked up to the ocean sky, but the whale was not there this time. Maybe the reason why the whale was always here each night, was because this castle, this town, held something dear to it. She wondered what happened.

Eventually, she found the market. The stalls were opened, and the goods were displayed so merrily. But there was no one there, either. Hana bit her lips and walked in; alone or not, she still needed the goods to stock her pantry. She didn’t have any coins with her, so with each thing she took, she left something on the stall. She hoped it would be enough.

When she was done, she walked out of the castle, and started the trek to her hut. It was only after she was home, that she realized she knew the way around the castle without remembering ever going there. As soon as she realized that, the forest rumbled and Hana felt her heart beating fast and loud inside her chest; as loud as the screams of the birds, shrill and foreboding.

That night, for the first time since she woke up, the whale didn’t sing. And that night, for the first time since she could remember, she dreamt.

* * *

The tavern was loud and full and warm; patrons laughing and chugging their drinks, soldiers resting and chattering with their friends, travellers asking left and right about the town, the bard singing on the corner of the room. It was unbridled with life and sound that Hana was taken aback for a moment. She remembered this tavern; she crossed it on her way to the market.

“Hana! The orders for three tables!” she heard someone shouted, startling her as she was the one being addressed. Upon hearing that, she snapped out of her thought and quickly moved to the source of the voice, only to find herself already standing there with trays full of drinks and pies.

Hana froze on her track. She wasn’t mistaken. It was herself, with the same hair, and same pale eyes, and the same voice as she laughed and teased the severe looking young man behind the bar.

“Come on Kyoutani!” she heard her doppelganger merrily said. “Stop with the sour face, you’re scaring away our customers.”

The young man scowled even deeper at her. “I’ll show them _scary_.”

Hana heard the tinkling laughter, and remembered that ever since she woke up, she never laughed. This was the first time she had ever heard herself laugh like that. As the other Hana turned, Hana squeaked and stepped back to avoid her. How could she explain it anyway? _Hello, I’m Hana too, I came from another world_. She would be burned at the stake in a second with that kind of explanation.

But as Hana prepared herself for some sort of explanation regarding her existence, the other Hana went past her. No, went _through_ her, and Hana thought, _oh_.

Was this… a dream?

Now that she thought about it, no one around her seemed to notice her as well. And as she attempted to put her hand on someone’s shoulder, it completely went through. She was no more than mere spirit in here. A faint whisper of existence within this strange dream of herself. Was this a memory, or was this a fantasy born from her desire to find someone else in her lonely world?

Her train of thought was broken as she heard the sound of tray falling down with a loud clang. On the other side of the room, other-Hana was surrounded by a bunch of nasty looking men. One of them had her hand caught in a grip as he leered at her with unnaturally sharp teeth.

“Pretty little thing,” the man growled. “Do you know who you’ve just poured your piss-poor alcohol on? I can have your head on a platter if I wanted to.”

“I’m sorry, Sir,” other-Hana said, she was trembling, but she held her ground. “I will make sure to clean your clothes properly, and replace your orders with a new one. So if you would please let me go—“

Hana winced as a loud slap echoed on the room. The rowdy, loud tavern suddenly turned silent. She saw a violently red mark bloomed on her own cheek. Some people gasped, and from the corner of her eyes, she saw Kyoutani along with a stern-looking woman walked to where the commotion was happening.

“Don’t you _dare_ talk back to me, you filthy _wench_!” the man roared, and Hana closed her eyes as his palm raised for the second time.

But the sound never came. Instead, there was a deafening silence in the room that she could hear even the breath of people closest to where she was standing. When Hana opened her eyes, there was another man there; clad in armor with chinks on them, holding the brute’s hand with one hand and another holding a sword to his neck.

“Let her go,” the man said. His voice was deep, stern, and there was something in it that made Hana inched closer. She felt like there was an unseen string that kept tugging her forward to be closer to this man, just a tad closer. “Gently,” the man added when the brute snarled, “One wrong move and _I’ll_ have your head on a platter. You are creating a ruckus, and threatening the citizen of this kingdom. By the rule of this kingdom, you have to pay a hefty sum for your trouble, as well as serve your time in jail for physically harming an innocent maid. If you tried to retaliate, I am allowed to take out the threat. Which means, you and your pathetic bunch. _Let her go_.”

There was no mistaking the threat and authority in his voice. The brute growled lowly, but let other-Hana go. The knight glanced at her, who was scrambling away from the both of them. Kyoutani and the older woman were already there. Immediately, Kyoutani took Hana away from the scene while the woman stayed. Her beautiful face was hardening into a severe glare that made Hana’s blood ran cold. She wouldn’t want to get into trouble with this woman.

“Thank you, Hajime,” the woman said. “I can take care of it from here.”

The knight— _Hajime_ , Hana whispered to herself—nodded, and withdrew his sword. The brute snorted and leered at the woman. “You better let your knight here take care of things, woman. What can you do exactly, to take care of—“

Whatever he was about to say, Hana couldn’t hear it. His words were cut off as the woman suddenly, faster than she could see, struck the man with her dainty-looking palm. She didn’t stop there. As soon as the brute recovered, she slapped him again, with enough force to make the man twice her size staggered backward. And then again, when he snarled and lunged to attack. She deflected the attack as easily as blocking off a child; her movements fluid, yet strong.

“You hurt my employees, and I’ll hurt you back ten times more painful than that,” she said when he was struggling on the floor. “You and your disgusting bunch will be banned from this tavern, as well all other taverns I have connection with. I’ll let you go this time, but if you dared to come back, dared to churn up another trouble, I will make sure it will be your last mistake.”

The man looked like he was about to attack again, but the woman whirled on her heel, and knocked him out cold with her boots. There was a loud crack as his head hit the floor. She stared down coldly at his underlings, and they all scrambled off as fast as they could, dragging their boss’ limp body along with them.

“I’ll clean up here,” she then said. “Do me a favor and check on my sweet little things on the back room, will you, Hajime?”

Hajime nodded at her. “Yes, Madam.”

Hana let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. The woman seemed to be the owner of this tavern by her words. But she was really strong, and _amazing_. Hana admired her even if she didn’t remember ever meeting the woman in her life. And the knight seemed to know of her prowess, too, if his respectful behavior was to go with.

_Hajime_. She tilted her head to the side, and wondered. There was something about him. Was it because he saved her in this dream? No, it wasn’t just that. She was sure, there was something that drew her in to this knight.

She followed him to the back room, where other-Hana was biting her lips to prevent another sob from falling out of her mouth. Her cheek was red, and there was a tinge of blue on the edge of it. The man had slapped her very harshly. It looked like Kyoutani had given her some ointment for it, as well as the bruise on her wrist from where the man had held her. She was sniffling even as Kyoutani sighed and patted her back. He looked awkward and out of place there with his scowling face and kind gesture.

When he noticed Hajime, however, he quickly withdrew his hand and put on a deep frown. As if he was afraid to be caught being _soft_. Hana chuckled, glad that none of them could hear her. This boy was adorable.

“If you’re here, that old hag is done then,” he said, and walked up to the door. “You take care of this snotty idiot. God knows how many orders are delayed by now.”

With those parting words, he left and Hana stepped closer to the other two in the room. Hajime smiled stiffly at other-Hana, but he kept standing there. She supposed it was hard to crouch with his armor on. Or he just didn’t know whether it was okay to sit next to her. Hana smiled at him; soft, unbidden. Even if she only met him in her dream once, she liked Hajime and his awkwardly sweet behavior already.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Other-Hana nodded, still trying not to cry again. “Y-yes, thank you, Sir. For saving me back there.”

He smiled a little. “You don’t need to call me that. My name is Iwaizumi Hajime, and Madam Li was the one who handled the brute, anyway. You should thank her later; she wiped the floor with his arse. Literally.”

That got a wet chuckle out of other-Hana. She looked up at him, and shyly offered a smile. “Madam Li is amazing, isn’t she? She’s very protective of us, too. I’m very thankful that we’re under her care.”

Hajime nodded to her, and finally, sat next to her on the bench. So it wasn’t the problem in the armor, then. He was just shy and awkward. Hana moved closer to them, to see Hajime’s face more clearly. She wanted to memorize these people’s faces—his, especially. Maybe, _maybe_ , someday she’d meet them in her world if she searched hard enough.

“You’re a very brave girl for standing up to that man, Miss,” he said kindly.

There was a red hue on other-Hana’s face that wasn’t just from the bruise. She looked down, biting her lips to hide a smile. “Thank you. Um—my name is Akeno Hana.”

“Okay, Miss Akeno,” he nodded, took off his glove to offer a hand to her. “It is very nice to meet you.”

She glanced at him, and slowly took the offered hand. “Me, too.”

They were left in silence after that, but neither seemed uncomfortable. Until Hajime stood up and gestured to the door. “I have to go. I have to continue my patrol tonight. I hope you will be alright. Until next time, Miss Akeno.”

Akeno nodded absentmindedly, most probably still dazed from their interaction. When Hajime reached the door, however, she suddenly stood and reached out to him. “Wait! Uh, t-thank you! I will bake you some raspberry pies if you come again. So—so, please come… again…”

The tail of her words was small and hesitant, but Hajime laughed and nodded at her. His smile was warm and his eyes alight as he said, “Well then, I look forward to meeting you again. I will see you soon.”

Akeno’s heart must have been beating as fast as Hana’s right now. That smile, those eyes; Hana felt something that she had never even thought about ever since she woke up alone: _affection_. Hajime’s smile had swept her off her feet in just one glance, and she felt like she was so light that she could fly off to the ocean sky.

She watched Hajime’s back as he turned, and as soon as the door was closed behind him, her surrounding turned dark and reality pulled her back to her world.

Hana woke up with wonder in her heart, and a hope that warmed the tips of her fingers. Outside of her hut, the forest rumbled gently, and the birds were silent. The whale bellowed its song softly, and Hana felt more alive than she had ever felt since she woke up.

* * *

“I met a lot of people last night,” she said to no one in particular. In the broad daylight, the forest was warm, and the watching eyes of the unseen birds felt like safety rather than threat. Hana plucked the herb carefully from its bush, and put it on the basket. There was a smile on her face that she couldn’t stop. She bit her lip and tried to not break into a grin.

She dreamt again last night. Hajime was there, so painfully awkward and earnest as he accepted Akeno’s offer of blueberry pies. He complimented her with a crinkling smile, and Hana thought, _oh_ , _what a pretty smile_. Hana wished she could stay there forever to see smiles bloomed on Hajime’s face. The tavern wasn’t the only thing that existed in her dream, as soon as Hana went out of the door, she realized that the whole town was bustling with chatters and shouts and laughter. It was unsettling as much as it was a wonder.

After so long being enveloped in silence, these noises felt like something novel. Something she would like to keep and cherishes for her lonely world.

There was no ocean in the sky, she thought as she stood up and walked on the trail to her small hut. From the alley of the tavern, she could see the castle. The highest tower where the whale would swim atop of looked like it was gleaming from afar. There were so many places she was familiar with from her frequent trip to the castle, and yet. And yet her dreams were so colorful, so full of noises, so starkly different than her reality.

She stopped then, looking down at her feet and feeling empty all of the sudden. The dream felt real, and yet, she knew that it wasn’t. It felt like something that she tried to reach with the tip of her fingers, and felt it slipped from the spaces. She heaved out a sigh, and looked up into the ocean sky. How did it feel like to be surrounded by so many things, she wondered? How did it feel like to not be the only one in the world that you didn’t understand?

Hana wished… she wished that she could just lie down and sleep now, just so she could see Hajime and his gentle smile, and didn’t feel like the void in her heart grew bigger still with each second.

* * *

There was something, Hana was sure there was something different about Hajime. She couldn’t quite pinpoint it with her finger, and she wasn’t sure whether this feeling had always been there, or was her biased towards Hajime clouded her thoughts in the first place?

But then again, how could it not? She watched as Hajime and Akeno gravitated towards each other as if it was something that was meant to happen, something inevitable. From each and every customer that had graced the tavern with their presence, it was Hajime that Akeno unquestioningly held a torch for. It would be almost embarrassing how much she leaned into his presence, if she wasn’t so earnest about it. Hana thought, if she were to ever meet someone like Hajime in her life, would she act the way Akeno did? Would she blush and stutter and serve an extra serving of pie to the knight, stealing glances and willing her bravery so she could talk to him about going out on his free days? She wouldn’t know now, would she?

Somehow, the truth of it made her breathless and ached. She turned on her place, looking at the faces of people who weren’t even aware of her presence. She tried, again, to touch something, someone. But she couldn’t even leave a dent before her hand went through; translucent, not real. Hana had known this since the start, but it still hit her like a lightning in the middle of the day. She wasn’t real. This wasn’t her world.

She bit back the sob that threatened to spill from her throat, and resolutely followed Akeno as the dream whirled and they were on the steps to the market. She had tried this theory several nights prior, but it turned out that she could only move where Akeno was present in the dream. She couldn’t explore the dream on her own, she could only follow her every step.

Sometimes she saw glimpses of the other taverns when Akeno delivered something for Madam Li, sometimes she saw the rows of fancy houses close to the castle. At times they went to the market, a place that Hana was familiar with that she could remember each stall with her eyes closed. But in her dreams, there were _people_ on the back of the stall, laughing and replying to Akeno’s haggle with raised brows. Akeno might look timid and shy, but she haggled like a hawk. Eight times out of ten, she got what she was aiming for, and Hana watched with growing sadness as fondness crossed the sellers’ face at Akeno’s bright smile and small shout of victory. She wondered how did it feel like to have people who knew her enough to let her do that, who was so familiar that they weren’t afraid of showing affection.

Regardless of her feelings, she had to admit that the hustle bustle of the market was the most fun out of her dreams. Dreams with Hajime in it were something she dearly cherished, but she also liked having the chances to put faces to empty places in the castle of her empty world. On some days, it made the loneliness a little bit bearable when she remembered who owned which places that she walked past in her ways to the market to get some ingredients.

“Miss Akeno?” a familiar voice called out, and both Hanas turned around by sheer familiarity and fondness of the voice alone. Hajime stood there with civilian clothes, holding an apple between his long, strong fingers. Hana briefly wondered how they would feel enveloping hers. They must have feel rough, callouses littering the palm from gripping the swords and the stead of the horse. “I uh, never thought I’d meet you here,” he stammered, suddenly at loss and not so confident. He surreptitiously glanced at Akeno from head to toe, then looked away with a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Um…” Akeno said, equal parts elated and unsure. “We—we live in the same kingdom, Hajime-san.”

Hajime’s eyes widened, as if he was caught doing something embarrassing, and promptly dropped the apple he was holding. “Oh… right. Yes, yes, totally right.”

“Uh,” Akeno stuttered, and looked away too. “Right… so… um, you’re—what are you buying, Hajime-san?”

This time, it was Akeno's turn to blush from head to toe when Hajime took back the apple and said, “Apples.”

Hana winced and looked away too. This was painfully awkward even if it was obvious the two of them wanted to talk to each other. She noticed that the fruit seller was cringing despite the fond smile on her lips. Hajime and Akeno were usually not this stiff and formal around each other, but then again, it might be because Akeno was in her element in the tavern, and Hajime was the knight that she came to know. To see each other in this kind of setting was both something new and refreshing, and they fumbled through it. Hana smiled softly and thought, _how cute_.

“Hey, handsome boy,” the fruit seller called out. “I’ll give you a discount if you buy some apples for our Akeno here.”

“Mrs. Nora!” Akeno hissed, quickly covering the side of her face when she started reddening again. “Uh, no—no, Hajime-san. I’m fine, you—you can have the apples for yourself, Mrs. Nora just likes joking around. Haha.”

But Hajime was no longer looking awkward. Instead, he was watching Akeno, and seemed to have an internal conversation that he ended with a firm nod. He turned to Mrs. Nora and said, “Okay. I’ll take ten of them then.”

While Akeno was still busy trying to salvage the embarrassment, Hajime had taken the offered apples, dumped them to Akeno’s basket and then smiled. “I’d like to eat apple pies. Would you make some for me this Friday?”

Akeno gaped, stuttered a little, and then seemed to forget that she had to give an answer. She snapped out of it soon, thankfully. “Yes!” she said, voice high-pitched and too enthusiast. She cleared her throat quickly and said again, “Yes. I can do that. I’ll… see you on Friday?”

“Why don’t I accompany you shopping?” Hajime said. “Would you mind terribly if I do that?”

Mrs. Nora laughed gleefully as Akeno looked like she was about to scream hysterically. But she managed to compose herself and nodded to Hajime, not quite trusting her voice yet. It was only after some time that Akeno started talking again, and she launched into barrages of question when Hajime presented the chance for it. Hana trailed after them; half an ear on the conversation, the other on the flurries of chatters and sights around her. As much as she adored Hajime already, she wanted to find out more about this dream world.

Hana and Akeno found out that Hajime became a knight because his whole family had always been one, and they all served for the royal family. Hajime was one of the personal guards for the Crown Prince. He smiled almost shyly when Akeno’s eyes sparkled and unabashedly told him that he was amazing. Akeno told her that her father used to speak fondly of the knights because his friend was one—sadly, both of them had passed away. She worked at the tavern since she was old enough to hold a tray steadily; Madam Li took her in when she wandered at the area one day, and then Kyoutani came much later.

“He was absolutely feral, Hajime-san!” she told him, eyes blazing and hand gesticulating wildly. “Like, he _bit_ Madam Li a few times at first. I was scared because he seemed so mean, but he’s actually quite nice, you see? He just doesn’t want people to know.”

Hajime smiled at her, but something about that was a little off. “You seem to be so close to Kyoutani. Are the both of you by any chance… together?”

Akeno stopped on her track, and looked at Hajime like he had just spontaneously grew a second head. He averted his eyes, but didn’t take back the question. “Of course he’s close to me, we both grew up together on that tavern, Hajime-san. But… not like that. I love him as a brother, even if he still bit me sometimes. But it feels like having an occasionally naughty puppy, you know?”

The man looked relieved, for some reason. And then, “If that so—would you be okay with taking a walk with me when we have our day off?”

The small girl almost lost balance and risked dropping her basket, but Hajime caught it in time, and dropped into a crouch to take the fallen tomatoes and carrots into the basket. Above him, Akeno covered her mouth with her hand, disbelief and joy flitted about on her face. When Hajime handed back the basket full of groceries, she shyly said, “If you don’t mind? I’m alright this Friday, after… after I baked you some pies?”

That got her a nearly blinding smile from Hajime that warmed Hana’s chest. Hajime looked so endeared and fond, and despite the small pang of sadness in her heart, Hana still thought that it was a wonderful look on his face.

“I will see you soon, then,” he said, and stepped back and waved at her before rounding up the corner.

The world around Hana started to swirl into darkness, as it always did when she was about to wake up. The last thing she saw was Akeno’s muffled scream, and Hajime’s broad back walking further away from her.

* * *

If she walked long enough to the south, there was nothing but a cliff shrouded by mist of clouds. That was the end of her small, empty world. To the west was an expanse of grass field as far as the eye could see. To the north was the castle, and no matter how hard Hana tried to walked around the castle, it seemed unending. She figured out that maybe this was the end of the north, and decided not to pursue it anymore. The east was the forest, and Hana never tried to go deep into the forest. There was—there was always this uneasy feelings under her skin, cold fingers squeezing her heart so tight, something that felt like fear stuck on the back of her throat every time she tried to brave herself and walked further than where she usually scavenged. So she didn’t try again.

There were a lot of things she didn’t know about her world, and she wasn’t sure if she had enough strength to discover each and every one of them.

So she started buying apples and blueberries, and made more pies than she knew what to do with and sat on the porch of her hut and listened to the song of the whale. She wondered how it would feel like to have Hajime right here with her, enjoying her pies as he did to Akeno’s. To have him close and embracing her tight, warding off the cold that seeped into her hollow bones.

Sometimes she thought about her dreams, and trampled down the hope that _maybe_ Hajime was out there. Somewhere she hadn’t explored; somewhere she couldn’t reach yet. But the path to the tavern was the same, and the stalls in the market were exactly at the same place, and yet Hana was still painfully, desperately alone. She wondered that perhaps… perhaps she was the one stuck in this dream-like nightmare, and Akeno was the real her.

But she woke up and breath and lived her life here, and the rumbled of the forest felt real enough just like the fear it inspired in her. The splash of the ocean sometimes reached her, and she felt the pain from stumbling and hitting something when she wasn’t careful. It was all real, she could feel them all. She was real.

(And the chest-constricting pain of thinking that Hajime didn’t exist in the same plane as her, it felt real too.)

* * *

It was painfully obvious to naked eyes that Hajime and Akeno had fallen in love so thoroughly, so completely that even Madam Li averted her eyes when Akeno stared at Hajime with eyes so fond and too full of hope. Kyoutani grumbled under her breath when Hajime unintentionally hogged Akeno’s time and made several orders delayed. But neither of them tried to stop it. It was almost like an absolute force that everyone accepted as another fact in this world. The sky was blue, Madam Li was not to be messed with, and Hajime and Akeno fell into each other’s arm like it was a fate sealed since the start.

Hana followed their steps with myriad of feelings that she didn’t know how to handle. On one hand, she was happy that she could be with Hajime, despite them being in separate realms. Akeno was essentially Hana herself in this dream; there shouldn’t be any reason for her to be so bitter. And yet, when Hajime started walking Akeno home after work, when they walked around the town hand in hand, when Hajime glanced at Akeno with something that felt too close to love, Hana _ached_.

Akeno couldn’t read, had never had the need to learn, and got no one else to teach her that. Madam Li could, but she was too busy with her business that wasn’t only the tavern Akeno and Kyoutani worked in. Kyoutani tried to teach her once, and gave up because he was too impatient. When Hajime found out about this, their time walking around the town, chatting amiably, turned into him trying to teach Akeno how to read.

He brought her children’s book, and patiently guided her every step. Introducing her to characters and numbers, showing her how to pronounce difficult words, bringing her books about stories from unknown lands because Akeno seemed to be more focused when it came to stories instead of proper, formal texts. Akeno loved stories, as it turned out. She liked fairytales and tales from lands so far away that she had never visited even once in her life. She wanted to know what was out there, but she couldn’t. She had too many responsibilities and lacking a lot of resources to do that.

Hajime looked at her, and smiled softly. He lifted her chin with careful fingers, and told her, “We can do that someday.”

Akeno’s eyes were round and they blinked slowly at the man. “ _We_?” she tried to confirm.

“Would you like to?” Hajime asked back. “Travelling the world with me, to see what kind of life is out there?”

It was a big step for the both of them, and they both realized that. Akeno thumbed the hand on her chin, thinking, thinking. Was it possible for a lowly maid to be with her knight in matted armor? Was it really not a mere wishful thinking that they could be together despite everything? But she… she _loved_ him; deeply, without regret, without hesitation. She wanted to hope, and she wanted to be brave enough to try.

“I do,” she whispered, and didn’t pull away when Hajime slowly inched closer. “Anywhere,” she said, “as long as you’re there with me.”

Their lips were scant inches from each other, and Hana saw how Hajime was torn to shreds with his love and how much he wanted to give the world for this girl who was so brave in her softness, who looked at the world with so much hope despite her circumstances, who stuttered and stammered but held on to Hajime’s hand and never let go.

“Always,” he said, and caressed Akeno’s face so tenderly it hurt. “Always,” he said, and kissed her so softly, as if he was trying not to spook a fairy that he wanted to stay with for the rest of his life.

Hana watched there as pieces by pieces, the dream shattered so slowly around her. As if it was mocking how her heart broke the same. As if it was trying so cruelly to make her watch as Hajime kissed her so gently, a whisper of lips against lips that made Akeno’s lashes fluttered in happiness and warmth. The tendrils of unseen claws clenched Hana’s heart so hard that she keeled over from the pain of it.

In the midst of the collapsing dream world, Hajime held Akeno close to him in a shy, loving kiss. In the darkness that enveloped Hana whole, she heard the shatter of her heart.

* * *

When Hana woke up, her face was wet with tears. It hurt, it hurt, _oh God, it hurt so badly_. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think beyond the encompassing pain that consumed her whole. She gasped for air, and stumbled out of her bed, knocking over so many thing that she couldn’t care about right now. She felt like she was being choked so slowly by the memories of Hajime’s smile, Hajime’s voice, Hajime closing his eyes as he kissed Akeno lovingly.

“No,” she breathed out, and she sounded so _wrecked_. She felt it, too. She opened her door and ran out, trying to escape the pain and the memory so vivid behind her eyelids. “No,” she shook her head, hands clawing at her chest to try to stop the pain. “No, no, no! **_No!_** ”

The forest trembled, greater than ever, but Hana couldn’t spare any fear right now. Not when she felt like she was poisoned from the inside. She couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop running, running, running. Before she knew it, she had arrived to the castle. There was no one there, as it had been since she woke up here. The whale swum above the tower, unknowing of her misery, uncaring of her pain.

Hana screamed so hard her throat hurt. She ran to the tavern, and saw that no one was there. Her eyes hurt from how much she was crying, her feet hurt from how frantically she was searching the whole town for _any_ sign of life, _anything_ to reassure her that she wasn’t alone. She ran to the market, to the path of her house, to the lines of beautiful houses of the royals, to the fountain where Hajime held her hand for the first time.

But she found nothing, no one. Not even a trace of wisp on every corner of this empty world.

“It’s unfair!” she screamed. It was unfair, to know that she could love someone like Hajime, and yet be denied the chance of actually having him. It was cruel to see Hajime in a faraway land that she could never touch. The dream world was filled with people who loved and cherished Akeno, who wore Hana’s face, who was _Hana_ and yet wasn’t. She had seen how the dreams were so warm, so full of life. But why was she alone, where is everyone? Why was she robbed of the happiness and warmth from the presence of other people in her life?

“Hajime-san!” she cried out. She was blind with loneliness and pain, running madly from door to door until she was out of breath. “Hajime-san!”

Hana ran back to the front of the castle, screaming for Hajime, for Madam Li, for Kyoutani, for Mrs. Nora, for anyone to _please_ , just please answer her back. On the tower where the whale glided so beautifully, Hana stumbled on her step and fell harshly to the ground. She didn’t try to get up, curling in herself to curb the pain that ate away everything within her.

Happiness, hope, warmth, laughter, smiles. All gone. Hana wasn’t even sure she had them in the first place.

“ _Hajime-san!_ ” she screamed, again and again and again. “Please! Please! Just—Hajime-san, please…”

There was a vortex of darkness inside her chest that she couldn’t escape. How did a dream hurt her deeply so like this? How could something that was supposed to be so bright and illuminating like _love_ , feel like a sword to her heart?

How was she supposed to go on, when there was no one to live for anymore?

She screamed and cried and cried, and cried still. When she woke up, it was night, and the song of the whale felt lonelier than before. A song that Hana felt in the marrow of her bones, in the slow beat of her heart, in the unshed tears that she couldn’t let out. Not anymore.

Her name was Akeno Hana. She was almost twenty-four. She liked cakes and collecting pretty stones without knowing why. She loved Iwaizumi Hajime so completely that it shattered her heart.

She was alone. And Hana realized, that she would always be.

* * *

The fall took a toll on her pretty hard. Hana refused to sleep and tried to wake up as soon as she realized she was in a dream. When she tried that, she woke up, and hundreds of unseen birds plummeted themselves on her walls, on her windows, cawing in the middle of the night as the forest rumbled and roared. It shook the whole hut, and Hana was paralyzed in fear.

She stumbled in her haste to escape to the castle where the whale was, where the forest and the birds couldn’t reach her.

She was too afraid to go back to her hut, too afraid to confront her dream. And yet, as she walked around the town and remembering everything from her dream, she realized that she couldn’t keep this up forever. The forest was restless because she refused to confront her own thoughts and fear. But Hana was cut too deeply to properly face them. She spent her days in the castle and tried to ignore how the forest had never stopped rumbling in the distance, how the screams of the unseen birds pierced the peaceful silence around her.

She tried not to fall asleep, watching the ocean sky and lying on the cold ground of the castle as she listened to the whale. She… couldn’t go on like this. The fear and bitter feelings were slowly but surely destroying her heart and her mind. It was bad enough to be alone, she didn’t need to have nightmares haunting her in the place where she didn’t have anyone to alleviate the fear with.

She thought, that Hana in her dreams, why couldn’t she keep that as a memory instead? Why couldn’t she try to have the moments of Akeno’s life close to her instead of letting the anger and misery fester in her heart? Life wasn’t always fair, after all, and Hana should have kept what she could in the very few choices she was presented with. Didn’t Hajime fell in love with her because she always tried to be brave despite her fear? Akeno or Hana, there must be a reason why Hana was given these pieces of a life she couldn’t have. She wouldn’t run anymore.

She stayed one more day at the castle. The night wasn’t cold, and the whale gently swum above her head. That night, she slept. But she didn’t dream of Akeno’s life. She dreamt of Hajime, lying next to her under the sky ocean, listening to the melody of the whale, waiting for the morning that she hoped would never come.

* * *

Hana came back to his hut, and made a resolution to be happy for Akeno of her dream. That night, Hajime gave Akeno a leather-bound book that contained stories from numerous countries that Akeno never got to visit. Maybe they could go someday, Hajime said. After Hajime had enough money to travel around, after Akeno’s mother got better, maybe—maybe they could get married, and see other countries before settling down, taking care of Akeno’s mother as well as making a family of their own. That night, Hana learned that she could fall in love all over again even when her heart was breaking apart.

She let herself dream that night.

The swirl of colors manifested around her as Akeno and Hajime leaned against each other. There as a leather-bound book on his hand, and Akeno’s eyes were wide, full of wonder and affection. If Hana wasn’t so sure of her resolution to be happy for Akeno, she didn’t think she could stand it. She sat on a stool, and watched as Hajime patiently taught Hana how to unclasp the heavy front, and smiled as she marveled at the beautiful illustrations inside.

“They are stories from places I visited on away duty,” he told her, flipping the pages slowly so Akeno could read snippets of it. “I asked someone to make it for you. They have pictures too, so you’ll know how certain things look like.”

“Is this the ocean?” Akeno then asked, pointing to a drawing of beautiful blue sea and sandy beach. Her fingers were gentle as she touched the surface of the paper. “It’s beautiful… I have never seen one before, but I think I would like to.”

Hajime caressed the top of her head, and hid a smile on her long tresses. He let her chattered and filled in the peaceful silence around them.

“We can—we can eat our lunch there! I can bake you pies and make you some dishes to go along with it, Hajime-san. Wouldn’t that be great?” she said, turning to Hajime expectantly.

Hajime nodded. “There are things washed ashore in the beach. You can collect them, too. Starfish, sea shells, conch, or pretty stones.”

Akeno bit back a smile that threatened to burst from her face, and said, “I would love to. I can put them in a small jar and put it on the shelf. To remind me of you when you’re away.”

There was something on his face as she said that, but he kept silent as Akeno continued flipping the book. When she was done with most of the paintings and promised him that she would read all of them later, she said, “I wish I’ll be able to see it myself someday. All these amazing places that you told me about in the books. I’d like to travel the world, like you said.”

“Maybe we could,” Hajime said. “After I have enough money to travel around, after your mother got better, maybe—maybe we could get married, and see other countries before settling down, taking care of your mother as well as making a family of our own. Would you like that? We can build a hut near the forest, and visit the ocean once in a while. You can collect your pretty stones, and I’ll have someone greeting me when I get home. I’d like to have that life with you, Hana. Would you?”

Akeno was silent, her mouth opened in a small gape. Her small body was trembling a little as Hajime held her hand. “Hajime… san? Are you—is this a dream? Are you really—“ she cut off herself, looking to the ground and heaving deep breaths, before turning back to Hajime with glistening tears in her eyes. Happiness shone through them, making her the prettiest Hajime had ever seen.

“Akeno Hana, would you marry me? Spend your life and your happiness by my side, in this life and the next?”

As Akeno nodded and cried, and launched herself into Hajime’s warm embrace, Hana learned that she could fall in love all over again even when her heart was breaking apart.

* * *

The dream world had given her a lot of things. Aside from Hajime-san, lovely, kind, heartwarming Hajime-san, Hana noticed the bustling city. The tavern lady and Kyoutani. The way they weaved around each other seamlessly, like they belonged, like they were meant to be there. Like they were family.

There were also the florist who gave her flowers on her way to the market; the baker who greeted her and sometimes slipped some cookies into her bag; the elderly carpenter who smiled at her the way her father smiled back then—loving, caring, afraid that he wouldn’t have enough days to protect Akeno; the butcher and his charming smile; the royal siblings that turned out to be Hajime’s friend. Well—the older one was, the younger one had his own knight. A small, cheery, happy-go-lucky guy that latched to the prince with terrifying intensity.

“Don’t bother with them,” Hajime once said. “He might look charming and harmless, but he’s Prince Tobio’s personal guard. And so far, no one could touch the young prince with Hinata on his side.”

Hajime told her that despite the rumor that Tooru couldn’t stand Tobio, Hinata was actually employed by Tooru to protect his brother. Despite being the next to ascend the throne, the prophecy had been crystal clear in stating that the second son of the king would be the light that led the crown prince to victory.

“Tooru didn’t care about the prophecy,” Hajime said, shaking his head as he leaned his head on the top of Hana’s head. “But he loved his brother in his own way, you know? Prince Tobio is far too honest and straightforward to be a proper royal, and he seems to not understand that people like him isn’t supposed to mingle with just anybody. Hinata is the right choice since he indulges the prince and keeps him in line all the same.”

They were sitting on the big tree near Hana’s house. Akeno’s house was a little bit far from the tavern, but she refused madam Li’s offer to live with her and Kyoutani because she had her sick mother to take care of. Her mother was sleeping after she had eaten. She seemed to be so fond of Hajime, but Akeno couldn’t help but blush like a ripe tomato after his mother said something along the line of _please take care of my daughter, Hajime-san, she’s clumsy and a crybaby, but she’s honest and always does her best_.

Akeno looked like she was about to cry from her mother’s words; she loved her mother dearly. She was the reason why Akeno worked herself to the ground despite her disposition and apparent bad luck. But at the moment, she hoped that the ground would swallow her so she could escape from this embarrassment.

Akeno looked at him, lips opened in a small gape. “You’re amazing Hajime-san! You knew so much about the royal family. No wonder you’re the Crown Prince’s most trusted knight.”

Hajime ducked his head, red scattered along his cheeks as he hugged Akeno closer. “Gods, you’re so, so—“

“… so?” Akeno prompted, tilting her head in confusion. But Hajime shook his head, and leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips instead. When they parted, Akeno was bright red from neck to the scalp. Her face was almost the same color of her hair. Hajime chuckled at that. Akeno still wasn’t completely used to the shift of their relationship, but she welcomed every touch Hajime graced her, like she couldn’t help it.

They laid back and enjoyed the breeze around them, chattering and eating the assortments that Akeno made for their picnic. She said, wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could do this on the beach instead? With the vast expanse of the ocean in front of their eyes, the breeze much colder but warded off by Hajime’s presence, their feet sticky with sand and smiles so bright on their faces. And Hajime caressed the side of Akeno’s face so tenderly, so gently that Hana had to look away from where she was standing. Despite Akeno wearing the exact same face as Hana, it still felt too intimate, like it wasn’t something Hana should witness in open. _Soon_ , Hajime said, and both Akeno and Hana believed in him.

“Royals sure are heavily guarded, huh,” Akeno then said.

Hajime nodded. “They are important figures for the kingdom. If nothing else, then as the literal figureheads. There are a lot of people who want them assassinated, especially royal family.”

Akeno frowned, the lines of her face filled with sorrow. “How sad, to burden the fate just because you’re born into a certain lineage.”

Hajime looked at her, and didn’t say anything. There was no consolation for that fact. After a moment, though, he took out a small book from his back. “Here,” he said. “This isn’t a story book, but it has informations about other kingdoms. Maybe someday we can travel to different kingdoms. You can even learn their recipes.”

Akeno beamed at him, and gratefully took the book. She flipped around it, eyes sparkling at the drawings of castles and people, knights with different kind of armors, markets and illustration of food. This book wasn’t as thick as the other one, but it must have still cost him a lot for the visual alone. On the back section, however, were strange symbols that Akeno couldn’t understand.

“Hajime-san?” she called out. “What are these symbols?”

He looked uncomfortable for a moment, before steeling himself and explained. “I don’t want to jinx anything, but with the influx of people coming and going into the kingdom, not to mention if we ever go out and travel around, then we’re bound to meet some unpleasant fellows.”

He said, these were known marks of spies and groups of bandits and other dangerous associations. One way or another, even if they never crossed their path with these people, Hana should still take the precaution and memorized them. Especially after what he told about the war brewing on the horizon, and the reason why Hinata was knighted rather suddenly even if he was fairly new. Tobio needed protection as soon as possible, and Hinata, despite his stature, was one of the best and could be downright terrifying in his ruthlessness.

She shuddered and nodded at his words. “Hard to imagine someone as bright as Hinata-san as—as—“

“I know,” Hajime said, he sounded so tired. He scooted closer to kiss Akeno’s forehead softly. “I just wish that this storm would be over soon. So Tooru can ascend the throne safely, and we don’t have to lose any more people.”

Akeno put down the book and turned to take Hajime into a tight embrace. “Please be safe, Hajime-san. I don’t—I don’t know what I would do if I ever lose you.”

“I think I’m going to go insane if something ever happened to you too,” Hajime replied, and the air around them was solemn and full of things unspoken, yet felt too clearly.

Hana felt something tugged her hand, and the scene seemed so far away as she floated through the darkness. When she woke up, the ocean sky was dark and silent. There was a foreboding feeling deep in her bones that she couldn’t seem to shake off. _There was a storm brewing on the horizon_ , she remembered. And it seemed like the storm would raze both her dream and her reality soon.

* * *

As all things, this dream would end, too.

Hana didn’t know how she knew it; she felt it so vividly in her veins, in the brush of the feathers of the formless birds, in the resonance of the whale’s song, in the vortex that seemed to slowly swallow her whole form the inside. She looked at the ocean sky, and closed her eyes. She felt… wistful, almost sad. She felt incredibly tired.

That day, she cleaned the whole hut. She put things back in their place with such gentleness that made her heart ache. It almost felt like farewell.

She didn’t know what she would be dreaming tonight, but she went out to her porch and looked at the whale in the far off tower. “Thank you,” she whispered.

That night, it was like a clock had been reset. It was almost like the first time all over again, a déjà vu that edged closer to nightmare.

Akeno tripped on her leg, and sent a tray of drinks on a customer on the corner table. Several head turned to the commotion, but soon went back to their business. It was known throughout the tavern that Akeno Hana was a clumsy maid, despite being an endearing one.

The customer wasn’t the same brute, however. He just silently took the towel Akeno offered with trembling fingers. His companion trained their eyes at her, and she looked down. She didn’t dare look up until the towel was offered back to her, and she dashed back to the bar with a quick mumble of apology and the promise to give them extra servings of ale and food. Hana watched as Akeno swallowed with difficulty, her step felt like lead.

As she creeped closer to the table, her blood ran cold. She remembered that mark. The one that had been momentarily exposed on the neck of one of the man, before he put up their hood once again. The conversation in the forest came up to her mind. Snippets of symbols of dangerous people, and the talk about the second prince’s assassination swirled inside her head. Hana ran to follow Akeno, and found out that she was pale and shaking all over as she told Madam Li what she had just seen.

The woman’s lips thinned as she heard Akeno’s stuttered explanation. “I will have to arrange some things and find Hinata Shoyou. Go out there and don’t ever show that you saw what you just have seen. Do you understand, Hana?”

She nodded, still trembling but obviously trying to compose herself. When she got out delivering the ale and food for the table however, the men were already gone. Hana felt more than saw Akeno’s legs shaking, and the relief in her sighs. She must have feel incredibly afraid, an abject terror when danger showed up so close to her. Without anyone but Madam Li who knew, without Hajime on her side.

The dream felt longer, and Hana felt something like premonition in the pit of her stomach. Something wasn’t right. Usually, her dream jumped from one scene to another. This one just continued on and on. She followed as Akeno locked the tavern and walked the path back to her house. She waited with impatience and lead in her blood as Akeno slept, restless and waking up several times in her sleep. Hajime didn’t come tonight; he was still not back from an away duty. That alone made Hana felt almost ready to scream, even if no one would be able to hear her.

Despite what happened, she didn’t want anything to happen to Akeno. She didn’t want her to suffer the same fate as her—stranded in a faraway land without anyone by her side. Akeno might just be a dream in her fever nightmare, but she was her, and she gave Hana a chance to live a life that she couldn’t have.

The dream continued for _days_ , and at this point, Hana was freaking out already. She found out with equal amount of wonder and panic, that she was less translucent now. She could feel some textures with the tip of her fingers, even if people still couldn’t see her. Something was definitely not right, but she didn’t know what would happen.

Did Madam Li found Hinata already? Was Hajime on his way home, only to find out that the assassination he had previously predicted would be happening in less than a few days? Would the Crown Prince realize that a bunch of spies and assassins had infiltrated his kingdom, and was going straight for his brother’s throat? Would Prince Tobio finally found out just why exactly Hinata Shoyou was by his side?

This was all something out of her touch, a scheme so grand that it shouldn’t have involved Akeno Hana. And yet, she was the one in Hana’s dream, and she held a red string to all of these things. Why did it feel like something was coming to an end? Like a tangled yarn finally unfurling and coming undone.

Today, Hajime should be on his way home already. Akeno waited for him all night, but he hadn’t showed up. Maybe he got held up for something. She didn’t have the time to be distracted when the tavern was so crowded. There were more people than usual today. Loud, boisterous guests ordering drinks and foods and flirting unashamedly with a red-faced Akeno; some were even brave enough to throw compliments to Kyoutani, which he responded with murderous face and big glasses of ale slammed hard on the wooden table. Akeno was right, Kyoutani was a wild animal.

The influx of customer didn’t stop, and even if it was a regular night for a tavern as popular as Madam Li’s, Hana felt like something wasn’t right.

As if answering her thought, the crowd screamed in unison when a man fell to the floor, blood pooling from the wound on his neck. The perpetrator let down their hood, and Hana’s blood ran cold when she recognized the face. It was the spies from a few days ago.

Madam Li was quick on the uptake, and pulled Akeno back. Her tray clanged to the ground with deafening crack as the glasses shattered. Kyoutani growled and jumped from the bar, two sets of serrated knives on each hand. Madam Li roared to the crowd, “Get out of here! Call the knights! We have intruders!”

People fell over themselves in their haste to escape. The fighters and knights in the tavern stayed to fight, while some of them tried to get out to spread the news. Madam Li quickly pulled Akeno to the back room and held her face with both hands.

“They’re coming for you, darling girl,” she said quickly. “Run as fast as you can. Find Hajime, _never_ look back. We will handle this.”

Akeno was crying in her arms, she gripped Madam Li’s hands so tight in her own as she sobbed. “B-but, Madam, what—what about you and Kyoutani?”

There was a gentle smile on her lips as she hugged Akeno close. “Oh, sweet girl, we are born for this kind of world. But you aren’t, so go, don’t make our efforts laid to waste. Hinata Shoyou should be alerted already, but when you meet Hajime, tell him to go to the castle and protect the royals.”

Madam Li didn’t wait for her answer, as she pulled out a long sword from a cupboard nearby, and pushed Akeno to the back door. With one last smile, she headed back to the tavern with stormy face. Akeno heaved a deep breath, laced with tears and fears, and started running.

She was aware of the commotion from the tavern even after she had run far from there. They were so loud, there were people _dying_ and all she could do was run. There was nothing she could do but running away from things she didn’t understand about, things she couldn’t handle. A lowly tavern maid, involved in a grand scheme bigger than herself. She had to find Hajime.

Hana ran alongside her, she could feel her breath coming short the longer they ran. She never sweated before, never ran out of breath, never felt the fatigued that seemed to creep up on her right now. There were slivers of scenes inside her head; snippets that weren’t in her dream, but ones she could feel in her bones. They were… her memories?

There were light footsteps coming from behind her, and before Hana could turn and see, she registered pain on her right leg. She had been shot. _Hana_ was shot—not Akeno, but Hana. She could feel her body falling down as the pain brought her to a halt. Akeno was nowhere to be seen. Right now, she didn’t exist; right now, there was only one Hana living in this dream.

She saw three men closing up on her, one of them with a bow on his hand. She grunted, body numb from pain and adrenaline. Inside her head, all she could think about was Hajime.

_“I think I’m going to go insane if something ever happened to you too.”_

She turned on a corner, remembering the main headquarter of the knight. Knights reported there after their away missions, Hajime should be there, right? There would be too many knights present for the assassins to do anything, right?

But her legs were sluggish, and she knew the men were getting closer and closer on her. _I’m going to die_ , she realized. She would never reach the headquarter in time. She would be killed before she could even see Hajime for the last time. The thought of it wrenched a sob from her gut, and pushed her tired legs to go further, faster. Anywhere, just to see Hajime, _please—_

“Hana!”

As if seeing light for the first time after centuries of darkness, Hana felt something like hope bloomed in her chest when she saw Hajime. He was in civilian clothes, three other guards in similar attire with him. He looked confused for a moment, before he noticed her pale face and her bloody legs. The other knights realized what was happening, too, as they ran to Hana’s direction to ward off the assassins.

She heard the clang of swords against swords and nearly fell flat on her face when her legs buckled. She saw Hajime, so close, so close—

There was pain in her scalp and rough hands gripped her hair tight, a knife pressed to the skin of her throat. Hajime threw off an assailant, and froze as he saw Hana’s predicament. She realized that more men had been following her aside from the three. She swallowed, and wondered how did things go so wrong, so fast? The dreams had been a wonderful escapade from her lonely life in the empty world, and yet, she was about to lose everything all over again.

“You move an inch, and I’ll slice her pretty throat open,” the man said, something sinister and malicious in his tone.

The fight was still happening around them, Hana’s heart thumped loudly in her chest. She was almost paralyzed with fear, with panic and the overwhelming realization that she… remembered this. Vaguely, like an old picture that had been creased from time.

She heaved a deep breath, and thought, _be brave. Just like what Hajime sees in you, be brave, Hana_.

She gripped the knife on her throat with her palm, crying out from the pain as it sliced through skin, and pushed it away from her. She stumbled as the man was momentarily surprised by her boldness. The knife fell with Hana, and she reached for it without thinking. It was enough for Hajime to charge forward and ward off the man. She panted, feeling pain all over her, and wished that everyone back on the tavern was alright. That Kyoutani and Madam Li were—were—

As Hajime fought the man, Hana saw from the corner of her eyes a movement from a fallen body. It was one of the assassins. He was injured gravely, but he was alive. More spies and knights were coming, and she could hear the bells all over the kingdom, alerting its citizen of the current danger. He was already down, Hana thought with trembling fingers as she held the knife, but—but he could still pose a danger as long as he was still alive. She should—

Her knife stopped an inch from the man’s throat. She couldn’t—she couldn’t do it. As much as she was hurt and afraid, she could never do what they did. She could never kill someone even if they stood on an opposing fate from her. She didn’t think she could bear the burden of taking someone’s life so coldly, so permanently.

“You’re—a fool, little m-maid,” the man whispered, mouth gurgling with blood.

Hana let out a sob that shook her entire body, and stood up with shaky legs when she heard Hajime called for her. He embraced tight, so tight it almost suffocated her. But his heartbeat grounded her and made hear head clear from the fear that ran through her veins. _Gods_ , gods she was so afraid.

“It’s alright,” Hajime said in her ears. He was panting hard, too. Hana noticed he got several wounds on his person, and she hugged him tighter. “You’re alright, Hana. It’s over, you’re safe. You’re safe. I’m here.”

“Hajime—san,” she said, choked up on her tears. “I thought—they just—they came so suddenly, and—and—people were dying left and right, Hajime-san. I- I- I don’t know whether everyone is alright in the tavern—Hajime—Hajime-san, I’m so scared.”

In the midst of the ringing bell, and the sound of the fights around them, Hana held Hajime tight in her arms. This was someone she cherished with her whole heart. This was someone she would never want to lose, _couldn’t ever_ bear to lose. But it was alright, he was here. And Hana might be in more pain than she had ever experienced her whole life, but they met each other again, after all. This night was never ending nightmare, but as long as Hajime was by her side, Hana could stand it.

_There were no animals in sight, and she wasn’t exactly the best hunter out there. She couldn’t do it; she was too soft to properly end a life._

_Just like that night._

It was almost like time had stopped as the thought came to Hana’s mind. The unbidden thought that appeared in her mind on the early days when she woke up in the empty world. And _then_ , she saw the fallen assassin stood up on shaky legs, eyes alight with hatred and conviction, running straight towards Hajime’s back.

_“Please be safe, Hajime-san. I don’t—I don’t know what I would do if I ever lose you.”_

And she understood. This wasn’t her dream. This was her memories; this had been her memories _all along_. And this… this was the end of her dream. This was the end of her life, too.

She pushed Hajime with more strength than she thought possible in her bones, and smiled as the assassin’s eyes widened for a fraction. _Pain, pain, pain_. Unimaginable pain spread throughout her body as the sword drove into her heart with deafening crack. Hana felt her body fell from the force of it, and then—Hajime roared to live as he recovered from shock.

The stars were beautiful, she thought, and closed her eyes for a moment as torrents of memories swirled inside her head. Meeting Hajime for the first time, walking home with him, falling in love deeper and deeper with his smile, reading and dreaming of faraway lands, of a family they could have together, of days spent on the edge of the ocean with sands and pretty stones. Of Hajime’s smile and the warmth he spread inside Hana. She loved him; dearly, tenderly, wholeheartedly. She wanted to live with him until they both turned old and savor their love with each passing moment.

But life wasn’t always fair, and the death of a lowly tavern maid wouldn’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things where wars and kings were involved. People wouldn’t mourn her. She didn’t even know if people who would—Madam Li, Kyoutani… she didn’t even know if there were still alive. All she had right now was Hajime.

“ _Hana!_ ”

His face came to her vision then, as he held her close to his chest. His eyes were manic. He was afraid, she realized, and she was too. “No—no, no, no! Why—Gods, why her, why must it be her—Gods…”

She watched with rapidly blurring eyes as Hajime cried. He said, “It’s okay, it’s okay my love. You’re—you’re going to be alright. It’s over, I’ll take you to the healer. Please—Hana, please hang on. Don’t,” he choked up, the force of his sadness making his eyes looked incredibly in pain and Hana longed to kiss his lips, just to chase it away.

But she was still bleeding fast, visions of lights and the glimmer of the ocean they never got to see swimming in her eyes. Hajime held her, his fingers stained with the blood of his loved one. Hana choked her way through her confession, saying that she was afraid; she was so afraid to die, to leave Hajime and couldn’t be on his side. But she loved him more than she feared death. She apologized because she was weak, she was too conflicted and slow, and it costed her life and the future they dreamt about. She said, “Please, live, Hajime-san. And—I’m sorry you have to go through this. Rise through and be the knight that protects this kingdom.”

“WHAT KNIGHT?!” Hajime shouted, gripping her limp, pale form so tight that his fingers left imprints of her rapidly paling skin. “What good would it be, if I can’t even protect the person I love the most?”

Hana was crying, whispering, _I love you, I love you, it hurts so much Hajime-san, I’m so sorry, I love you_. “I’ll—“ she choked off, trails of blood spurting from her mouth, and the gaping wounds on her chest. “I’ll wait for you, Hajime…san. On—on our ocean, I’ll wait for you.”

“No!” Hajime looked like he was the one on the verge of dying. “No, please, please, stay. Hana! Hana! Stay, _please, I beg of you_ —“

“I—love you, Hajime-sa—“

Her voice was silent, her life dimmed down to a cold ember before she could say his name for the last time. Hana heard Hajime’s plead and cries, and thought that, she could never love someone as she did with him. Her body felt light, the dream for the last time swirled into the darkness that, for once, she welcomed with her whole heart.

She knew, and she understood. And now, it was her time to go.

* * *

Hana woke up, with silent tears falling endlessly on her face. The birds were screaming outside with her, the forest was a torrent of violent emotions and catastrophe. As she ran outside, she finally remembered why. Why the forest was empty, why the birds weren’t there. Why the ocean was her sky. Why the whale waited on the castle every single night, singing its lonely, painful sorrow on the top of the tower.

There was no one in this empty, strange world. And she couldn’t go anywhere—she still had someone to wait for. Hajime.

She crumpled to the ground and felt the ocean slowly merged into the ground. Swallowing the castle, the land, the forest, the birds, her small hut. Her.

When she came to, she was floating on the ocean. Everything was submerged, save for the top of the tower. The whale wasn’t swimming around it anymore, but from there, she could still feel it in her bones. The sorrow, the pain, the loss and the regrets. It wasn’t the whale’s song—it was hers.

* * *

The water started to drain, drip by drip. The sky was clear, and from the ruin of her world, Hana built it anew. The ocean was now at the south of her hut. Just like the one Hajime and she never got to see in her lifetime. She fixed her hut, and planted the forest, one tree at a time. Sometimes, she found traces of feathers from the formless birds. At night, she could still hear the echo of the whale’s song.

She still went to the market on the castle, but she never looked at the top tower. The whale wasn’t there anymore.

When the last of the water had dried down, and Hana had her hut back into shape. She took her basket full of foods and drinks to the south, where the ocean was. It was beautiful; clear, and bustling of life, unlike the rest of her world. But try as she might, she never saw the whale anymore. She never dreamt again since then.

But every night, instead of sitting on her porch with a cup of tea to listen to the whale’s song, she went to the beach. She would sit, and looked at the gentle lap of the wave, and never let the tears fall. This world was empty, and she couldn’t go anywhere. There was still someone she was waiting for.

So she waited for days, weeks, years; she stopped counting after some time.

She waited, on the edge of the ocean. Waiting for someone to walk along the beach and come closer, sit down next to her and say, “I’m here.”

But the wind was cold, and the whale was gone, and the ocean was no longer on her sky. She was alone, and she didn’t know how much longer she would be. Hajime wasn’t here yet. Hana felt the hollow beat of her heart, and closed her eyes.

In the emptiness of her world, in the uncertainty of her loneliness, she waited.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it as well I enjoyed writing it. You can reach out about my commissions on the comment box. Don't forget to eat, and drink lots of water! I'll see you all later!


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